"A Luxury is a car"

Jim left at 3:00 am, After setting the alarm clock for eight, I laid back down. The green glow was all around the room. I felt chilly and covered up my exposed top. My nipples had stiffened from the cold. I silently thanked Jim and grabbed a pillow. I placed it between my legs and imagined him there. The sensation was great, after a minute of squeezing and relaxing my legs I drifted to a light sleep.

What was that sound . . .It buzzed loudly . . .it sounded like an alarm . . .the alarm . . .THE ALARM IS ON. I snapped out of my sleep, fumbled for the alarm. I pressed the snooze button and read the time. It was 8:00 am. I got up and dragged myself into the bathroom. I didn't have time for a bath, so I used a wash cloth to clean the important areas. I got dressed, made sure my gun was in my purse and left Jim a 'see you later, lover' note, walked to the nearest bus stop and waited. Ten minutes later the RTD pulled up, I paid my money and found a seat. Looking out the window I noticed a FORD dealership. I pulled the stop cord, it 'dinked' and the bus pulled over at the next stop. I only had to walk half a block. When I got to the front of the dealership I was greeted by a 'shark', a fast talking, slick looking salesperson.

"Well ma'am, what can I do for you today, is there a car you are interested in, maybe you could drive away today, how about this beauty, I can see you behind the wheel now, or how about this one, slick, smooth lines make this car a hot item, or maybe this bit of power . . ."

I spoke with a scottish accent, "Do you take a breath?"

He blinked, "Pardon ma'am?"

I repeated, "Do you take a breath?"

"Well, yes." His face contorted.

"Good, I want a PROBE."

His face brightened up, "Excellent. . ." we started walking toward the PROBEs, " . . .we have a wide variety of cars and selections, maybe this one over here will suit your needs, or maybe this beauty, I can see you behind the wheel now, or how about this one, smooth, slick lines make this car a hot number, or maybe this bit of power . . ."

I cleared my throat.

"This is probably one of the best cars we have in this lot . . ."

I cleared my throat louder.

He stopped and looked at me.

"Will you SHUT UP!" I snapped.

"Well, ma'am, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way ..."

"Just give me a dark gray PROBE, stereo, turbo, with T-top."

His jaw dropped.

"Do you have one?"

"Well, yes . . ."

"Then give it to me . . ."

"But ma'am, that car was sold . . ."

"I'll give you cash if I can drive away in one hour."

We stopped walking. He turned and ran to the head office. I looked away and noticed the 'wide variety and selection of cars'. A small lot with several cars doesn't warrant the term 'wide variety'. I started browsing the selection. Some nice cars, however, I wanted a PROBE. I had to leave the Thunderbird behind, it was a nice car, but under the circumstances a traceable hazard. Besides, with an almost unlimited bank account I could virtually buy an Oceanliner. Of Course, Mr. Vadnez would be more than a bit steamed. He would say, "Now Ms. Bechard . . ." in his gaelic accent, his mother I believe was Irish and his father Spanish, would produce itself every couple of words, "why was the oceanliner needed, in your report I see several alternatives, you know I do not condone agent spending, but you must pay close attention to what you are doing . . ." I chuckled out loud at the thought.

A voice came up behind me, "Excuse me, Miss."

The voice was deeper than the salesperson's. "Yes." I said and continued to look at the sticker. I could see the reflection of the person the voice came from. Short, wide man in a suit too big for his round figure.

"I understand you want to buy a car?"

"No, not a car, a PROBE." I continued to fake a Scottish accent. "I like the commercials with that Wangner woman."

He frowned.

I continued to look away and moved on to another car. He followed. "You know, lad. The mechanized one." I looked up at him. His reflection looked better. "That concept car."

His face brightened. "How 'bout black?"

I gave him my most indignant face. "Black . . ." my accent thickened, "Black . . .I never thought about a dark color. I was hoping for gray, a very bonnie color." I started walking away.

"Ah, Miss . . .please . . .is there some way we could . . ." He swallowed hard, " . . .negotiate."

I stopped. "Well, my lad. There could possibly be a way. I like gray, but you won't give me a gray one."

He nodded.

"You tell me you have a black one, why black? Is there something wrong with it?"

He cleared his throat, "Oh no, Miss. I only mentioned black because it's very close to gray. We have other colors."

"Why can I not buy a gray one?"

"We sold it yesterday."

"Did you get any money for it?"

"Well, no, not exactly."

"Okay then, I want the gray one."

He hesitated.

"Listen, if I cannot have a gray one I'll take my business elsewhere."

He stiffened up and said in a slow articulated manner, "Are you willing to play $20,000 for it."

I smiled, "Yes, if it is worth it, and if you are not wasting my time."

We walked over to a gray probe. It had ground effect sidings with a whale tail. It was indeed very nice. I peeked inside. Plush carpet, leather seats, stereo, T-top, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, power everything.

"I'll take it."

He smiled. "Cash, credit or check."

"Do you take VISA?"

"Yes, we do."

I smiled and followed him into the main office to work on the paperwork.

A luxury is being able to buy a car at someone else's expense. I can hear Mr. Vadnez now. 'You bought a new car?!? Ms. Bechard, this organization was not set up to afford you such luxuries . . . please explain the importance of your purchasing a new car. What happened to the one you had?' Vadnez can be tight SOB. God knows I got a better deal.