This is a long story. Thanks to the former crew of the Shadowstar, some of whom still grace these pages and my life. It was an exhilarating time and my memories are good ones.
And special thanks to Chitta, my own Blessed Protector, Best Friend and Webmaster.
Warning: Spoilers for ST: Deep Space Nine. I miss that crew.
Note: I had been kicking this story around in the brain for a while, but Susan Foster's GDP series gave me the jump start I needed. It's just the best Gen AU out there.
Oubliette
"Nooo…the shimmer of transporter beams whisked me away and I stumbled on the pad falling into someone’s arms. Consciousness was fading, but I held on long enough to scream his name. Save him, for the Goddess save him…but the darkness cloaked me and my thoughts were of death, "Please. Let me die."
I have been sitting here for almost an hour, refusing to sleep. They attempt to make me comfortable, feed me medicate me, but I can not rest. I will wait as long as I am able. They said this Captain would help me and after months of no one listening my faith wars with cynicism. I left without permission before the freighter captain could transport me. By now he may know of the bounty and I needed to get off and get help.
I had heard about these two from…well never mind. They are renegades. I read their history and though "retired" now, I was told if a thing needed doing and the Federation was slow about it, they would not let protocols or diplomacy stop them from seeing justice done. I’m desperate, terrified of finding out he’s dead and that he isn’t. Don’t try to make sense of it right now. I don’t think I am making much sense to anyone, maybe I never will again…
Huh! Oh, he startled me. The records say his mother was Deltan. I can’t tell by looking, he’s dark and his eyes are the palest of silver and so cold. He tells me the Captain has come at last. My heart tangles in my chest and he lifts me from the bed. I’m surprised how strong he is, as if I weigh nothing. He carries me into the outer office and puts me into the deep pillow lined recliner I have occupied almost constantly since the shuttle dropped me off at the gate of what is, well a castle, his home. It’s been too long since I have felt safe, but when he promised that no one would be allowed to take me back I believed him. His mate comes into the room, carrying a tray of tea and places a thick mug into my trembling hands. She said her name was Megan. The name is oddly familiar to me but I can’t grasp why. I have never seen her before, the ash blonde hair and her face are not familiar, but the name I should remember. They watch me lift the mug to my mouth and sip. I had to finish it, they insisted it would calm and strengthen. I hear the door whisk open and look up. The captain was female, her age indeterminable. Her hair was white, but one side of her face was scared and the eye was missing. I found it odd that she didn’t have it replaced. She looked old and young and so sad. I was shocked at the pain that enveloped her spirit. I gasped. Her head snapped back and the one brown eye narrowed and bang, she wasn’t there. I knew she was human, but evidently someone had trained her, I thought perhaps the Vulcans. Her posture was rigid, her face a blank and when she continued across the room the walk was reminiscent of the few logical members of that race I had met.
"A warning would have been nice, Admiral, I’m too damn tired to deal with another mind meddler."
"This is my home Lyra a. You will remember that." It was softly spoken, but a threat never the less.
Lyra a, what a pretty name snapped to attention before the couple.
"Apologies sirs!"
"Sandor, Lyra a stop it. You don’t have to snarl at each other every time you meet."
"Stand down Captain."
The woman rocked on her feet and rubbed her forehead wearily.
"Your pardon Sandor, Megan. It was just the shock of finding someone here that could blast through my shields."
I interrupted her.
"Forgive me Captain. It was not my intention, I…"
"Blair, has been injured Lyra a. His control is tenuous right now."
Megan raised her hands in a placating gesture and the Captain nodded.
"Okay, let me get Atymer down here. I don’t have the strength to fend off…"
"He’s on his way."
Admiral Kaos pressed the controls on his desk and the door whisked open again. I was startled this time. He was Betazoid with long brown hair, gold earrings swinging from his ears and wearing an eye popping flame red shirt. He had a great smile and I automatically smiled back at him. He swept across the room and without any hesitation ran his hands through my hair and said.
"Never fear lad. We will save him."
Just like that. I saw the Captain scowl, but he just walked over to her and placed his slender hands on her shoulders. As much as she didn’t want to let go, she eased back into his touch and her shoulders slumped.
That one eye opened and glared at me.
"Well Sandor, get on with it. I can see this is a briefing not a request. Who is he, where is he and how much time do we have."
She was impatient, but Megan poured tea from the same pot and passed it to Lyra a telling her to drink it.
The scowl appeared again, but the Captain drank it down. Atymer patted her shoulders and pulled up one of the other chairs in the room next to her. Sandor began to tell my story and when I thought I would cry I felt Atymer brush against my thoughts. His presence was so comforting I wanted to crawl into his lap and cry my heart out. At the same time I noticed he stroked the Captain’s hand where it lay fisted on the arm of her chair. I could tell this woman never relaxed completely even with so powerful a telepath to protect her mind. I had never in my life met anyone with the range and power Atymer had, although I had been told that Betazoids were sometimes born with extreme capabilities, they usually did not survive to adulthood or with their sanity intact. She was lucky to have him by her side. That thought stabbed me with pain. Would I ever be that lucky again?
"…believes that the Romulans are not holding this man. His own people would see his existence has an opportunity. We don’t have any information on him except what Blair has told us. Even Megan’s’ contacts went silent when his name came up. There isn’t any evidence to suggest that this is a genetic trait. Ultimately the people who are holding him may discover they cannot clone or breed others that will develop these augmented senses."
The Captain leaned forward as Sandor pushed the data pad toward her.
"But that wouldn’t stop them from wiping his mind so he will continue to follow orders."
"Exactly. So irregardless of his "value" to this moment, it won’t take them long to either terminate him or put him back to work."
I wasn’t aware of my body rocking back and forth in the chair until Megan stepped around her mate’s desk and put her arms around me.
"We have to hurry. Please. It won’t work. He can’t do what they want without me. He can resist them for a time, but too many drugs will distort his senses, he could, he could lose…"
"It’s alright Blair, we will…"
"You cannot possibly be thinking of sending him…"
Atymer restrained Lyraa from rising to her feet. I knew she would not want me to go. Anyone would wonder how I was still conscious from the look of me. I was pale, sunken cheeks and trembling all over. I could barely stand on my own.
"I have to go. I’m the only one who can reach him if he’s zoned or…"
"Blair says he experiences fugue states when he gets focused on one sense too long. He could shut down like this under torture and never come out. Megan was rubbing my back and Atymer’s thoughts were willing me back to a calmer state. I must convince the Captain I had to go.
"Captain…if …it was…him…wouldn’t you…"
I had never been so ashamed of myself. It was like she died right there. She was out of the chair and bolting from the room before anyone could react. I felt Atymer’s anger swell then surround me. It left me sobbing in pain. I felt Megan and Sandor’s voices melding together in censure and shock.
"I’m sorry, so sorry. I had to make her understand she…"
"No, you don’t understand. Nothing can excuse this heinous…"
"Atymer, go after her," Sandor’s icy rage cut through the Betazoid’s tirade. "He has to be taken with you…"
"After…!"
"Yes even so. "
"Alright Admiral. It will be as you say. I understand your desperation child. But nothing can excuse what you have done. I will wait until she has calmed herself then I will take you to her and you will apologize."
"I’ll do anything, give anything if you will just get him back."
I was reduced to near hysterics by now and I wasn’t aware of the hypospray or the fading consciousness. I had to get to Jim. He was the only thing that mattered.
I knew immediately that the castle was far away. The person leaning over me was Deltan her pheromones flooded the room when my eyes opened.
"I need to see the Captain." My voice was a weak shadow. I was so tired.
"You may address the Captain when she is better prepared."
I felt heat sweep over my body. I had never humiliated anyone before whether my control was bad or not. What was I becoming in the quest for the return of my Sentinel? I had exposed her most secret pain the Goddess forgive me…
" I have read the medical reports you managed to obtain. You must not give up Companion. Do not invite the disembodied state before it is time. Seek the quiet place and heal your spirit. Sleep now."
She was so kind and gentle after what I had done and I was so tired of fighting. I let sleep claim me and dreamed of my life before Jim before…
I was leaving my office for home after a long day of classes and useless meetings. There was a debate over where the new funding would be applied and I held out very little hope that the Anthro department would see a credit of it. Rainier was no longer considered prestigious and any money we could get was hotly contested. Sure we were still a good school, but the major universities hosted more off world students and their planets diplomatic and economic influence went along way in deciding who got the grants. I was one of the very few people on campus that were not earth born. My mother had migrated to Xanadu as a child and grew up within the culture created by humans joining with the natives. I had no idea which male was my parent. Since humans adapted many of the Nadu customs, my mother raised me with the help of Nadu females. Male Nadu acted as instructors so all were considered "fathers" of every child. The majority of hybrids, like myself, were born empathic to varying degrees, which was one of the reasons I choose to teach at Rainier and live in Cascade Washington. It was not highly populated so there was less chance of me getting burned out on the emotions of everyone around me. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to rearrange the contents of my pack when a wave of menace almost brought me to my knees. I staggered and looked around - two people dressed in dull gray coveralls. They were walking toward me.
Until that moment I had had little contact with enforcers of any kind, but these two were definitely dangerous. People stared at them or hurried away with heads down as they past. My heart was in my throat choking off all air. I had never done anything to warrant the attention of anyone in the local enforcers or the Fleet. Some of my students went on to Starfleet, but surely none of them could be in the kind of trouble that could bring such dangerous… My whirling thoughts froze as the man and woman loomed over me.
"You are Professor Blair Sandburg."
It was more a statement than a question. My head bobbed up and down, my feet itched to run away. These two frightened me beyond reason.
"You must come with us sir. It is a matter of Federation security."
"What, what do I have to do…?"
"It will be explained in due time. This way please."
The man grabbed me by the arm and just hauled me along the courtyard.
"Wait, wait you just can’t drag me off. Who are you people what’s this about where are…?"
"Professor there’s no time now to explain. When we reach our destination you will understand everything. Please don’t impede us. You must come."
This from the woman and although the words were gently spoken, her eyes were flat and lifeless as the great white shark’s stuffed corpse on exhibit at the Marine Exhibition Hall. I could feel all my controls waver has I tried to contain my terror and anger.
"I’m not leaving this…"
I actually leaped away from them but the hypospray had already been administered. My last wild look around for help was just a collage of shocked frighten faces dissolving to black.
I never knew where I was or even what the outside looked like. I was interrogated by a group of life forms hidden in darkness. I knew some of them were human. They wanted to know about my research on the remnants of the South American tribes, particularly about their tribal watchmen. I answered all their questions without hesitation. I was frightened beyond all capability of resistance. Things like this didn’t happen to unknown academics in obscure northwestern schools. It was some bizarre nightmare. Maybe I would wake up if I got the answers right. When my panic attacks began, one after the other, they drugged me. I was outside myself slurring responses telling them more than I ever wanted anyone to know about me, my mom everything everyone every…
"Professor, professor wake up. Good, that’s better. There is someone I want you to meet. I think you can help us."
I lay on the cot staring at a grim faced man, the drugs in my system still prevalent enough to keep me from actually focusing on his features. He was blond and…
I don’t remember getting up or walking. Someone was telling me about a man a man who they had rescued. I couldn’t quite grasp it, but the screams and waves of anguish that suddenly washed over me snapped me to clarity. I was alone in a room staring though a wall of glass. On the other side was a man, screaming gibbering wrapped in restraints and throwing his body against the walls. All that he was experiencing slammed into my weakened shields and I fainted.
Later, much later I awoke with the blond man bending over me.
"You will help him Professor. You will bring him back to us. The information he possesses is vital to the Federation. Yes, really and you will assist us professor, you will. We will do whatever we must to obtain that cooperation."
"No one has ever verified the existence of Sentinels. How do you expect me to help him if all your scientist can’t?"
"Exactly, we had doctors and scientist examine him and we brought in our own psi talents to get through his madness. None of them were compatible. Then you were brought to our attention. The subject of your dissertation and the notes from your journals indicate you have thought long and hard about ways to control such a person if they did exist."
"My notes, you invaded my… I never wrote a word about controlling anyone! How dare you think you can use me to…"
I was sputtering and racing up and down the room. Rage finally overriding the fear that had paralyzed me for hell, I couldn’t begin to guess how long.
"I will not allow you to turn my research into this abomination, to control another being like a machine a thing…"
I was slammed against the wall so hard I nearly lost consciousness.
"Where are your morals Professor, your feeling for a being in pain?"
His lips were pressed against my ear, threat swirling around me in contrast to his whispered words.
"Think of you mother."
My resistance collapsed.
"By helping us you make sure she can continue to live in peace without the threat of invasion. As will all our citizens. I consider it my duty to serve, to protect us all. Can you do any less? Can you walk away and leave this being in such agony when you are probably his only hope?"
Could this be happening? Would he kill my mom, hold her prisoner?
"Alright, alright…I…I’ll try to bring him back. But that’s all, just bring him back." The colonel laughed.
I was allowed to shower and given clean clothes. A doctor examined me and then I was fed. I really lost track of time. Had it only been hours or days since this nightmare began? I was returned to the room. The colonel showed me the recording devices and other monitors the technicians would use to watch our interaction. I wasn’t allowed into the cell. They sat me in a chair next to a console and told me to talk. If my voice got his attention then we would see. I had a hard time remembering what I had even written about Sentinels, terrified as I was. But I talked. It’s what I did every day, every ordinary sometimes boring day, talk to my students, fellow teachers, friends.
"Hello James Ellison. My name is Blair Sandburg, actually Professor Blair Sandburg. I’m…"
My voice was a dry rasp of sound. There had been water to sip and stimulants to keep me awake. I never even noticed when the screaming stopped.
"We need to let him sleep colonel. He can’t take anymore stims. His nervous system is nearly shot."
"Alright, put him down, but keep the tape of his voice playing. The lieutenant is finally quiet."
"It’s amazing colonel. He’s actually asleep!"
"I knew I was right doctor. We have found our control."
"You really think San…"
"Exactly. We have found our Guide."
Sleep dragged me down, adrenaline surging through my system. I heard the doctor administering more medication, then nothing.
When I woke up the doctor was sitting by my cot working over his data pad.
"Good, you should feel much better. You got nearly twelve hours sleep and the really good news is your Sentinel is still quiet. We can’t get near him of course.
He’s still immersed in sensory overload, but this is definitely more progress than we were able to make since he got here. Now eat everything on your tray and someone will bring you to the observation room after you finish."
He left and I wondered if he always talked to people like they were idiots. The sing song cadence of his voice irritated me. Obviously these people worked in two modes, out right violence and manipulation. The doctor definitely thought he was good at the latter.
What did that make me? If the man was quiet only because I had talked to him and these people coerced me into…manipulator, no better than the doctor. I knew that no one here was remotely concerned about my well being or even for the man tied up in that padded cell. If he didn’t have some information they thought important, he’d be drugged in some hospital undergoing treatment to wipe his memories or be put down. I shivered at the remembered words the colonel used to describe my rest. In remote areas of my home planet, technology was not always available. Sometimes our animals could not be cured of disease or injury. We "put them down." I almost choked when I realized the colonel must have used that phrase deliberately to frighten me. I was in so much trouble and there was no one to help.
When I returned to the room, the doctor told me to start talking again. The man sleeping on the floor in the other room woke immediately. He struggled to his feet and stumbled around. He seemed to be trying to find the direction of my voice.
"Easy lieutenant, easy now. Just try to relax. I know you’re confused, but don’t try to figure it out. Just know that, that you…safe…yes you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. Just relax."
I nearly choked on the lies that spilled from my mouth. I don’t know what these people will do with this man. How do I know he didn’t belong with them? I didn’t know anything, except I stood very small chance in hell of ever being seen by anyone again. They wouldn’t let me live after all this.
The colonel had come in and stood against the door watching me. I turned to him my thoughts at total war with the words that issued from my mouth.
"I have to go in now. I…I…can do nothing else from here." I couldn’t raise my eyes to that hated face. I actually felt the tight smile, his satisfaction filling the room.
"Take him. Your Sentinel has been waiting a long time…Guide."
Oh, why did that one word sound like a curse falling from his lips? Everything I read over the years appeared to underscore the importance of a guide’s relationship with the watchman. Now here am I, a party to the worse obfuscation imaginable. If this man was a Sentinel he needed some one real someone not coerced someone who knew what they were doing…
By the time we got to the door of his room my mind had nearly shut down from terror. If I failed, I was dead. I remember being pushed through that door in nightmares still. I stumbled to my knees and looked up into startled sky blue eyes. Something seized inside me. My brain, my thoughts my body…everything, faded and there was only those eyes, lost confused sanity a mere thread. How much time past, I couldn’t tell you. We must have stared at each other for hours? It seemed so. What shocked me back was the touch. He leaned over and head butted me in the chest. I rocked over backward and he lay down on my stomach, wiggled once and settled with his head against my heart. He actually nuzzled me, wiping his sweaty face on the coveralls I wore.
Then he was still and after the longest time my heart stopped trying to shatter and even later still I fell asleep.
I woke. Nothing had changed except James Ellison was sitting up staring at me. He was breathing heavily and every few seconds he’d cringe or whimper. I sat up very slowly. His nostrils flared but other than that he didn’t move as I touched his strait jacketed shoulder. He trembled and I began to speak very softly so as not to shock his ears.
"It’s alright James, it’s okay. I’m going to take these things off of you. It won’t hurt anymore I promise. No more pain. Just let me take this apart and then I slide this… "
Soon he was divested of the hurtful restraints. I took off the plastic tying his hands and hobbling his ankles. The trembling grew worse and I realized the more clothes I removed the air currents in the room would feel just as painful. So I talked to him about ways he could stop his senses from causing him pain. Actually I was reciting from my journals nearly by rote. The words at that time were nearly meaningless to me. He was hurting and now…his pain was mine. I frantically cast about for some reference he could use to see inside his own head what needed to be done.
Data pad, no. On closer inspection it was obvious this man was a soldier. He was slim, but covered in tight knots of hard muscle. The body under my hands had many old scars consistent with ancient societies and some of the more primitive off world cultures, whose warriors bore the marks of battles survived with pride. This in itself was unusual, however, because Starfleet and most of the Federations remnant ground forces had state of the art medical facilities and few of the members had to carry the marks of trauma. It made me think he was probably a member of this strange group of people who had kidnapped me. That caused my heart to hammer and he suddenly snapped to attention scanning the room, his body tensed all the shivering stopped. I was on the edge of another panic attack. The door opened behind me. The next thing I knew I was crushed against the padded wall and Ellison’ s body.
"Easy there soldier. Easy we’re not going to hurt you. We just want to talk to the professor." I heard them move and James shifted to cover me. I knew because I had read the old text that said the Sentinel protected the tribe and since whatever happened when I walked in here, well, happened I was the tribe.
"Colonel looks like we’re going to have to drug…"
"No, no colonel don’t. The drugs will make him incoherent again. You don’t want that I know you don’t. Make them leave. I can talk him down. Give me some time. I’ll do it. Don’t …{oh shit!} don’t hurt him anymore!"
And just like that my fate was sealed. Scared as I had been I didn’t realize what had happened. For the first time in my life I had bonded with another being. On my world bonding could take place at anytime if the parties involved desired. I was bonded to my mom, of course and to a lesser degree the extended members of my family. But this, this level, for a mate perhaps or …I don’t know. It wasn’t suppose to happen unless I willed it. What had they done? How had this happened? My heart, my breath I passed out.
After that James became the beginning and ending of my world. I retrained him to live with his senses. Yes, he was a Sentinel. All five of his senses were hyper sensitive. In time his thought processes came back on line as well. I gave him a phaser analogy to use for dialing his sense up or down. He actually smiled. Then he went willingly to a long debriefing session and before he returned I nearly unraveled with worry. The colonel was his superior officer, had been for many years. The cold formidable man that came back into our quarters was nearly a stranger to me. The most he did was lightly pat my shoulder when he walked by. Now when I talked to ground him he was irritated. My test and meditation exercise got on his nerves. The gentle over protective man operating only on instinct was gone. But, the colonel would not allow me to leave. He said James "needed" me and until he didn’t I should consider myself in service for the good of the Federation.
When I went to weapons training, I learned more than proficiency.
I was given medical training in which I incorporated the care feeding and "handling" of a Sentinel. Every word spoken was recorded. I lived without the privacy psi talents must have. But after so much time and so much battering my shields got stronger, just as my body did. They were going to send me with him on his missions. I was to ground him and make sure he got back alive. I could say it was still my family and the threat to them, but it would only be a small part of the truth. There was Jim. I could not be separated from him. They have no idea what they have done, or maybe they didn’t care, maybe this is what they wanted. I would shut down if he died. Comatose death, I had no way to know. I was not to contact my own people to find out.
Zanadu had been settled by peace loving humans, determined to co exist with the natives which welcomed them. Alike in many spiritual beliefs, the two species commingled with joy and found mutual prosperity. When it was discovered that we could mate with each other the off spring from those unions were celebrated, particularly when our empathic abilities were discovered. Feeling the best way to protect this skill from exploitation Zanadu petitioned for membership in the Federation and managed to keep much of the truth from visitors. My people made good physicians and teachers. We went about our lives unremarked. Most aliens found the golden eyes of the Nadu beautiful and as so few of us lived off planet, we were considered a curiosity and people sought out our company. It was funny, at first the students did not believe me to be Nadu, because my eyes were blue like mothers. They always wanted me to prove it, but how could I do that? Even our blood was red although the properties varied just a bit.
I never used empathy above "normal" levels unless there was some emergency, like that time Coach Rafe was knocked into the fountain and cracked his head horsing around with the basketball team. I had to calm his wife down when she arrived at the hospital. Carol thought he was going to die and never stopped thanking me for being there for her that day.
The missions involved covert activities against Dominion and even Romulan installations. Most important were the planets where the Jem’Hadar were bred. War had come while I was incarcerated and the Federation was losing badly. All my worries for my family’s safety meant nothing. It all came down to survival and keeping my Sentinel alive. Jim was totally committed to his duty and for the most part ignored me unless he felt I was threatened. One day a guard knocked me down for not moving from his path fast enough. He was barely alive when they got him to sickbay and Jim was totally unrepentant. Perhaps that was when the colonel began having second thoughts.
Then Jim overheard a conversation between the colonel and an operative on Deep Space Nine. He was very upset when he returned to our quarters but refused to tell me details. Then he stopped speaking. He continued to obey orders, but he wouldn’t talk. Soon after this the colonel left for the space station…and never returned. They questioned me about Jim’s sudden withdrawal, rigorously at times, but I could tell them nothing. They were wary of using drugs or actual torture because Jim had proven how dangerous he could be if I was threatened with physical violence. When they finally said they should drug the Sentinel to make him talk, I made up a story about disturbing dreams and being afraid they would pull him from the mission roster. They monitored his sleep patterns for months after that. Now when we were in enemy territory I had to rely solely on my abilities to take care of him. He would dial down his pain receptors so low I couldn’t tell if he was injured. I could no longer trust that he would bother to pull me out if the situation got tight. It was driving me quietly mad. Then one day we discovered the war was truly over. Jim had been sent to assassinate some Romulan leader and during the mission found the dispatches, which verified the exit of Dominion forces from our quadrant. The enemy was gone. There was no need to kill the Romulan, even though their government was still hostile to the Federation. I attempted to argue the point, but Jim carried out his objective. I stopped attempting to communicate outside of missions from then on.
One day I slipped into a storeroom, barred the door and slashed my wrists. I nearly made it, almost bled out before they found me. Jim brought me back. Strange vision, a wolf and panther joining. His senses went off line for the first time in, what three four years? He refused to leave my side refused to let the doctors treat me with anything he hadn’t smelled tasted or looked at. His spiking senses brought me around. He was in pain and I couldn’t even die in peace. They didn’t send us out again for three months.
When we went, it was a trap and surprise Jim got me to the pickup sight even though I had been shot to rags. I didn’t die because he needed me. When he tossed me into the transporter beam I was screaming his name. The last thing I saw a bright flare and my sentinel disappearing within it. Captain Banks patched me up and we limped back to headquarters in a battered ship. They were keeping me alive and since Jim was supposed to be dead, I didn’t understand it. Banks got to see me while I was in the hospital. Surprised that he grabbed my hands to shake them, I almost missed the message. ALIVE was scratched into the palm of one hand. The security cameras did not catch that. I was stunned he took the chance, but whatever the reason, I couldn’t let him risk exposure by helping me further. So one day I willed my body still and they laid me aside to dispose of later. I managed to appear dead until just before dawn the next day. They wouldn’t expect anyone to attempt escape and besides I was dead. I stowed away to get off the planet I found myself on. I still don’t know what the name of it was. All those years of being ignored when not concerned with the Sentinel finally paid off. I knew names considered enemies, where the spies were. That’s how I knew about Sandor Kaos and traded it all hoping he would get my Sentinel back.
I cannot say how long I stayed in sickbay. I woke up and a dark haired woman was at my side to help me stand. She says her name is Tanya and she is a medtech. She’s more than that. After years watching people in covert operations I can recognize some one trained to eliminate life. Yet she is gentle with me. Before too much time is past I am showered dressed and fed. I ask after the Captain and she says when I’m stronger. She allows me to walk around for awhile and when I tire returns me to bed. I don’t argue. When we find Jim I must be able to protect him. I can’t let these people go in alone. I talk to her while I’m lying there about this and that. What she tells me about her own people is scary. They are assassins by trade for sale to the highest bidder and I gap at her. How did people like the colonel and this woman exist inside the Federation I thought so free from corruption? She says her planet is not a member and will never be because the rulers would blow it up before any off world government would get a foothold there. She is very youthful looking, but she has the grim look of someone who has lost more than heart can bear.
For once I shut my mouth, before I blunder and make another enemy. It is hard enough knowing the Captain has hardened herself against me. I have placed our lives in the hands of people not unlike those I escaped from.
Sometime later I’m startled awake to find a short redhead man sitting on one of the beds getting treatment for burns on his hands. He’s complaining that it’s nothing and the first officer should stop being such a nit picking nosy telepath and Tanya says for him to shut up and take his medicine like a man. She definitely uses something painful on the burn because he yells when she sprays and hops down jumping from foot to foot. Her grim face lights with laughter and she shoves him out the door. She notices I’m awake and tells me after another day in bed I will be introduced to some of the crew and attend a briefing. In twelve solar days we will be where Megan suspects my Sentinel is being held. I turn my face to the bulkhead and cry into the pillow. By the Goddess, I have been nothing but a watering pot these last few months, weeks? Please, be a live Jim…please.
Another woman, with long light brown hair comes to get me after two "nights" of sleep. I shuffle along behind her still weak and slightly dizzy. She says call her Cesya. I notice she has six digits on her hands, but other wise she looks human. The corridors are narrow and grimy. I am surprised how cluttered and old the ship looks. The sickbay was pristine and state of the art. But then again if these people worked for Admiral Kaos then everything they did or said was illusion just like the colonel’s people. We enter a large oval room and there are other people sitting around a table. The captain is at the head and my heart stutters and breath comes hard. She is reading a datapad and I ignore Cesya and force my feet to move in her direction. Suddenly, the low voices are silenced and I know all eyes are on me. The captain finally raises her head and that one narrow brown eye bores into me like a blade. Her shields intensify until I can actually feel the wall of energy between us, expanding pushing me away. It slips a little I can feel her anger rising.
"Captain Van der Hock, I apologize for my behavior when we were introduced. There is no excuse for what I did. I do not expect your forgiveness, just know it will not happen again. I am truly sorry."
I hoped the formal tone would not blind her to my heartfelt guilt over breaching her privacy. It was only intuition that made me think part of the sadness that surrounded her was due to one long lost to war or betrayal like my own.
I waited forever for her to at least acknowledge my presence. Finally she looks at me.
"Take a seat Professor. The briefing will be short an to the point people."
She doesn’t give me another glance so I make it back to the end of the table where Cesya still stands behind the chair. I sit and she pushes the chair in closer to the table. A cup appears from somewhere and I sip the steaming bitter tea that I have practically survived on since coming to Admiral Kaos.
The captain introduces the staff at the table in quick clipped tones.
"Cesya will pilot the shuttle that will get you down to the planetoid. T’siganni, Marmyon will get you in and out. Bridget, Dag and Tessa will keep the rest of the guards too busy to mind what you do. By the time we get there you should be well enough to handle yourself. Jolan says you’re only suffering from poor diet and weakened shields. You were trained to fight by these people so be ready. Bridget everything in place?"
I watched the very slim red head at the captain’s left nod briefly.
"The metaphasic shield worked perfectly. They believe they are safe because of their proximity to the star. They are heavily shielded but I was able to actually land and I know I didn’t set off any alarms."
"Good. Ian is the anti-matter pod ready? " This is the red haired man I saw in sickbay.
"Yes Captain we can drop it at your order if we have to take the installation out."
"Well, I hope it doesn’t come to that, but I’ve heard other things about this place and it’s a black mark on the Federation experimenting on citizens against their will. You are not the only one Professor."
A shiver went through me at the turn of the conversation. I look around at the hard faces and wonder what would happen to us if I got Jim back. Would Kaos keep us, use us? I wanted nothing more than to go home back to Xanadu, to peace.
The rest of the briefing goes by in a blur. I am too busy sizing up my companions. T’siganni appears to be Vulcan, but there is a barely contained energy about him and his eyes are full of anticipation for the coming battle. A hybrid like myself perhaps, but not human. The one called Dag is interesting. His skin is dark green with blue tones and his eyes are large long lashed and a deep blue, almost indigo. I know I have never seen anyone like him before. There are no adjectives that can describe how surprisingly beautiful he is. His emotions are tightly controlled and his eyes never waver from the Captain’s grim face. Marmyon is a Corrykn. I know this from the FedNetwork broadcasts. This one is small for his race and covered with vicious scars on face and running beneath the collar of his shirt. His posture is relaxed and the blank eyes shimmer almost silver in the soft lighting. This means he is calm and not agitated by what he has heard. He has the serenity I have only seen in those who have accepted death. Oddly enough this makes his presence calming. Tessa is the * strangest* being I have ever seen. She seems older than everyone in the room, has wildly streaked long hair, an odd eye piece strobing with changing colors and the skull and cross bones. I do not like the way she looks at me. The lust flowing from her is like a black cloud that would smother and kill. I increase my shielding and avoid her gaze. The one called Bridget has already been to where they are holding my Sentinel. She is calm and totally unfazed at the risk she took, but now I know we can get there, we can stop them. Cesya squeezes my shoulder and I look up into her hazel eyes. She smiles and says it’s time for me to sleep. No one acknowledges us as we leave the room.
I am so tired at this point I don’t remember the walk back to the sickbay.
"I am Jolan," the Deltan healer that first took care of me says as I fall into the door. I am drowning in her pheromones and welcome the soft arms that enfold me. Her presence is so soothing I drift into blessed oblivion.
The phaser rifle rests comfortably against my hip. In the tiny cabin of the shuttle the other members of this team check their weapons for the last time. The ride through the corona of the star was very rough, but we arrived safely and Bridget says the installation is not alerted to our presence. I wear a form fitting black battlesuit, with a helmet that has communication, telemetry and environmental readouts scrolling across the face as you will it. It also has very strong shields. I have never seen its like before and had only three days to get comfortable fighting in it.
No one detected us entering the system with the cloaking device shielding the ship and the hard radiation from the star obscuring our arrival in the shuttle. I begin my breathing and mantras to calm and open myself to the presence of my Sentinel.
Dag, Bridget and Tessa leave the shuttle slipping into the writhing gas that covers this rock. It is artificial and deadly, produced by the installation as added security. A minute later and I follow with Marmyon and T’siganni flanking me.
My suit’s online, full combat mode. A flash of light and we feel the vibration when the first of several explosion breach the walls of the installation. The two men follow me weapons firing has I charge into the building letting the Captain’s people worry about eliminating the guards. I feel him, I feel him alive, hurting, maddened. My weapon pulses and the bright flash illuminates a body before I run into the light of his passing.
I fire automatically and someone else screams and then dies by Marmyon’s rifle. The screaming and explosions sound far away. It is a nightmare of killing and I feel nothing now only pain. My suit protects me, kills for me, the phaser turret on my shoulder whines and the doors blow in, a nova bright explosion and I’m racing over molten rock into the room where he lays wired and screaming. Bodies run in panicked confusion and my rifle ends their lives. They hurt him they must die. I get to the table and see the filaments that connect him to the monitors. I inject him with a drug created by his own people to subdue him. The hoarse screams stop and his straining body slumps. For a moment I think he’s dead, but I still pull the threads from his body. By the Goddess he may never survive this with his mind intact. Marmyon and T’siganni are helping me release him. We hear the rest of the team fighting, the explosions the screams. Bridget is yelling about releasing someone and then there is a loud thump and it is suddenly so quiet the men rush the blown door to make sure we are not being ambushed. I can’t be gentle there is no time. I snatch and yank with shaking hands and blood flows from the hundreds of tiny wounds. I pull the small black box from the stomach of my battlesuit and lay it on his chest.
"Battlesuit conjoin."
There’s a shimmer of light and his body is covered in a suit like mine. The life support systems come online immediately and the shields surround him.
T’siganni runs back and pulls him from the table, shields on both suits sparking on contact. I turn and run ahead of them and follow Marmyon through the door firing my rifle as the battlesuit targets anything that moves in the now dark corridors. The telemetry designates our team in dashes of blue and now there are several white dashes surrounded by blue racing for the same opening we blew to get in. Through the smoke and fire I can’t really see anyone, but any red dash on my headset is fired upon and I stumble at the impact of phaser fire against my shields. I don’t fall I don’t stop my Sentinel must be freed.
Bridget is screaming "Hurry, hurry, hurry."
Marmyon and I stop, firing back into the collapsing corridor and let T’siganni race into the night. Our phaser turrets discharge bringing down this side of the building. I’m tumbling over and over and Tessa is the one who stops my uncontrolled spin. I shove away from her just as a transporter beam takes me away. I’m back on the ship and T’siganni is running from the transporter pad to sickbay! I’m right behind him, no thoughts left for the rest.
I’m tearing off the helmet and deres both battlesuits. Jolan is here and the medbay comes online and support systems anchor Jim to life. I turn to T’siganni and grab his shaking shoulders. "Thank you, thank you and your Captain."
He nods once and shambles from the room. Exhaustion and adrenaline war in his system as well as mine. My hands are shaking so Tanya appears and forces me down on another bed.
My heart is pounding, I can’t get a breath. The next thing I know she injects me with a tri ox compound and I collapse. I watch, too weak to move as Jolan and Tanya work to stabilize Jim’s vital signs. I see the readout’s erratic dance and can only pray. I have given this crew all I knew about Jim. If he could be saved they would. His sanity was my concern and I passed out hoping he would still be alive for me to face that battle and that I would be strong enough to fight it.
END OF PART 1